Jeremy Clarkson: Let’s make the coronation the king of parties — with host Phillip Schofield

Charles looked glum after reading the Queen’s Speech in May. A Village People vibe would liven up his coronation

BEN STANSALL/AFP VIA GETTY IMAGES

King Charles hinted last week that, compared with the golden, myrrh-flecked extravagances of old, his coronation will be more diverse and, we must assume, more sustainable as well. Certainly, it will be smaller and therefore less expensive.

I can see his thinking on that front. After the funeral of his mother, all the Corbynites and non-binary vegetablists frothed at the mouth, saying that when ordinary people could not afford to heat their homes and were having to live on food that had been regurgitated by the rich, it was entirely inappropriate to spend so much money on burying an old lady. So can you imagine how incensed they’d be if Charles arrived at his coronation in a golden helicopter, wearing panda-fur robes and trousers made